Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
