i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize