Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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