Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
