I skipped work to stalk him.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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