Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize