There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
