I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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