idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
