My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
