it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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