if you like me you must not know who I am
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
