Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
