fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
