the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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