every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize