Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
