the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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