Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
