forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
