She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
