i barfeds in our rink
I think my fart just growled at me.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
