Im at strip club and am horny
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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