I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
