We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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