how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
