And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
