I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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