Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
