Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
