I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
