I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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