i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
