I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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