since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
