After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
