After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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