the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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