i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
