So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
