She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize