That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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