lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
