after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
