I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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