What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Sorry my hands just texted you
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize