are you still at the devil's house?
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
