Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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