My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
