In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
