he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
