it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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