belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
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