I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
