I need help removing her.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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