Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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