eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
