I can tuck mytits in my pants
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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