Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
