Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
