he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
