i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
