Well douche your snatch and let's go!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize